20190627.3

I remember when I used my blog as a line of myself.  I have a LOT of CRAP out there! 

THOUGHTS running through my fingers, not really of my brain...When I take the numbing drugs to push down the things I don't want to remember, but remember when you aren't taking the drugs you are OKAY.

20190627.2

Part 2

When you think you are second best.  You get into your head and let the shit stutter... stuck on a word or action? 

Listening to in the background for tear the person down that is just LIKE YOU!

Remember, only you can hear your thoughts.... shit, did I write that out loud?

WIRE TAPE THE PHONES AND FIND OUT!

20190627.1

Here comes the HEAT!

Please God, don't melt our region.  Let us stay cool for a summer.  I'll take the rain... 

The above picture from 9news.com, says that the western slope will be in the mid 70s low 80s and the eastern slope/plains is going to be blazin in the 90s.  maybe a high 80 here and there.

20190626 - Automatic

Thoughts that run through the fingers. 
I had an idea to write about, but it has now slipped me.

Alright, here we are the day of reckoning, like reconciliation.
Do the columns add up?  Do they match? 
reck·on·ing
/ˈrek(ə)niNG/
 Learn to pronounce
noun
the action or process of calculating or estimating something.
"last year was not, by any reckoning, a particularly good one"
synonyms: calculation, estimation, computation, working out, summation, counting; More
a person's view, opinion, or judgment.
"by ancient reckoning, bacteria are plants"
synonyms: opinion, view, judgment, evaluation, way of thinking, estimate, estimation, appraisal, consideration
"by her reckoning, it was high time her luck changed"
ARCHAIC
a bill or account, or its settlement.
plural noun: reckonings

Schizo...
Catfish catfishing catfish... someone out there will get that!
S7E31

Someone Needs To Publish! 03092019

Once I hit publish, that should be it!

I'm so wishy-washy.

I want to feel the spirit moving through my hands.  I want to feel the warmth of the fingers typing on the keys and spreading the vocal vibrations that come through them.

Everybody with BIG EYES are watching.

10 of clubs (10) - TEN: Completion (or new beginnings, or new endings, too)
      CLUBS - (pentacles, discs, coins)  Clubs may be a call to action in the realm of creativity, business, intellect, relationships.  They represent action, adventure, risk-taking, competition. Can also refer to physical or spiritual energy, inspiration, intuition, ambition, and growth.

6 of Hearts (6) - SIX: Harmony (or the lack of or yearning for it, but sixes are rarely negative).
     HEARTS - (Cups)[Emotions, feelings, relationships] Heart cards cover not just love but the whole range of human emotion, from despair and powerlessness to contentment and joy.  Hearts are very often also represent relationships because relationships re-gender the full range of emotions.

2 of Hearts (2) - TWO: Balance (or delays, waiting)
     HEARTS - (Cups) (same suite reinforce prior card of same caliber.)   [Emotions, feelings, relationships] Heart cards cover not just love but the whole range of human emotion, from despair and powerlessness to contentment and joy.  Hearts very often also represent relationships because relationships regender the full range of emotions.

10-6-2.  The past has concluded, whilst the present harmony seeks balance and reward.

021519 - February thus far, or First Quarter of the #YearTwoThousandNineteen

Artist, #GammaAcosta
Way better than that squirrel mural, sorry whomever the artist was.  Only miss the Owl that was near the tree, but this is WAY BETTER an matches the current situation!
January 24, 2019



Pre Prizm show at the Sweetwater Saloon at 100th and Westminster, CO.  19 Jan 19.  Weird.
January 19, 2019.
Side Note: Already lost a bassist.

012719x4

Do you know ANDREA?

Watching Ghost Adventures, s17 episode about True Nightmares and I'm halfheartedly listening, while I talk about clowns on FB, they are talking about Clowns, and I hear my name....
Funny how things run together.

I've had people tell me the shit that I do is weird.  Cool.

When you think it is the end, it is only the beginning.

Time for another deep breath of AIR.

You should see my cat.  Lying on the bed next to me.  His name is Charlie Raven.  He is a tuxedo cat with white whiskers that protrude from his eyes and cheeks.   I just found out that he likes to run on my hand under the blanket.
I wish I was good and moving billard balls.  lol

01272019x3

When the energy starts to come and you have to quick publish before you do something stupid and delete what you were typing, then lose your train of thought, and remember, it wasn't your train of thought but the words flowing like water.  trick trip drip flip dip sip.

012719x2

Fill the lungs with AIR...

FB, such a time waster.  I can't shit without looking at the dang app, but seems I've been holding onto that stinking device since I was in my early 30s. 15 year addiction.   As opposed to a 25 year addiction.

Can you change your life?  Can you change your habits?  Can you change the world?

Ice-burgs melting and floating with the tides, turning in the wind.  Sailing across sees[seas], reflections of the skies[waters].

Listing[Listening] to the spirits walking the Earth; riding light to and from the Heavens above.  Light travel.  The step into the next relms is a speck of light away.

Listening to shows[TV] can lead you to believe that which is not really there, but thought of in the minds eye.  Can you see the past, the present, the future; the stars, the Heavens, the Hells, that other's walk on this Earth?

I hear the clicking of my fingers and wonder what I will read a few weeks, hours, months from now... later?  Lead yourself away from your own thoughts and feelings and let that which is standing at the door walk in, without harm.  Flow over the buttons that are strung to your mind and heart.

Things you've done or seen as a child.  Things you've done.  Have you been proud of those things?  Have you repented your sins?  Judge NOT LES YE BE JUDGED....

I wonder if anyone out in the UNIVERSE is thinking of me.  Have you really been abducted/[obstructed (blocking your own flow)] or are you telling that as a story to stump another[other] MFer[s]?

Accidentally hitting buttons, messing with things, so my story may not be laid out as I want[ed]... as I flow[ed].  Thoughts spreading to the fingers without thought.  Can it be automatic, as it may seem?

HOUSE[s]
I bought a house in my dreams the other day... actually a couple of houses.  Am I becoming a slumlord in the REM?  One nice and new without any issues; and the other with plaster walls falling apart, leaks from dilapidation of the exterior which bled in to the shell.  Air being sucked through the old fireplace as if standing in the chest of a beast sucking the air through its lungs.  Possibly purchasing sight unseen, impulse buying?

If I could show pictures I would, but they don't have a recording device for dreams just yet.  I wonder how I could market this and make it so?  How could I capture images from behind the eye lids?  HOW do I understand what I am seeing and why does it bother me so?

Second House, second floor landing and hall was like a crawl through tunnel to upstairs bedrooms and bathrooms.  The previous owners where still living in the house and we were [Jessie and I] supposed to move in, but I quickly realized we had an issue on our hands.  The previous owners were now going to have to be evicted if they couldn't have their full loan paid off.  They were upside down in the financing and the house was completely fucked from the FHA type of lifestyle.  Modifications to the house, that make it unsaleable.  The master bedroom is under construction, and there are these weird medal pipes that are running up the wall that look like furnace ducting, four of them with red hazard stickers with strips.  I didn't ask what they were, as I felt stupid for being in this situation.  What do the bathrooms look like?  NIGHTMARES! I should have paid for a freakin' inspection!

I may be changing the story now since this dream was from yesterday and generally dreams are forgotten fast, if not immediately upon awaking from sleep.

I do recall thinking over and over how I never think things through and how I always screw up my situation by second guessing myself.  Sometimes the second isn't the best but the first is what shoulda been?  I don't know.  All i k[NO]w is I am listening to the clicking of my fingers and wondering why I can't spell shit half right most the time!?

It's 5:12p on January 27 2019.  I wonder where I will be when I grow up and realize that I've been a grown up for most of my life at this point?  45 years in I can't imagine life any differently.  I have been loved by good people and I have screwed up good situations because I didn't feel like I deserved to be where I was.  Self sabotage.  Self loathing, self implosion.

I've experienced a lot of good things and find sometimes that I only dwell on the sad/bad ones.

Life continues, even when  you don't feel like you can continue. 
The grass still grows, the rain flows into rivers, lakes, oceans. 
It snows and that melts. 
Birds sing and fly, then they die. 
Butterflies morph from their cocoons once from Caterpillar fuzzies in a courtyard at an elementary school in the Meadows of a mountain they call Cheyenne.

Darkness floats around, even in light.  Light can be snuffed in a simple smothering.  SAGE.

01272019 - Thoughts

Sitting on my bed on a Sunday afternoon.

Instead of staring at Facebook, I thought I should jot a few words down to get them out of my head.

I really don't know what I want to jot down, I'm just wasting time so why not let the fingers run along the keyboard and release some brain energy?

I wish words flowed from my fingers as they used to.  I'm lost in the thoughts, but can't get them to exchange their language for the keys of the board that can carry them to the eyes that should read them.  Or maybe, NOT READ THEM.

I've been having these vivid dreams that are crAZy!  from A-Z...

I wish I would get right up and write them down.  I could write a book of the crAZy that I see.

I wish there was a device that could record your dreams.  I'd be entertained to see them again and see what the hell is actually going on!

I want to publish my thoughts, but I don't really want anyone to read them?  What is the POINT?

Sitting

Surprise!
It's me....
Wondering what lies ahead.  What's in the distance?
Is that a body lying in the street?  Did I see that shadow standing next to me?  Will I hear myself scream, will you hear me cry?
Living life in a slow slothy style, growing mossy on my back.
This is about me, my life, my wish, my wants, my desires.  What are they?
My children are grown.
My wish is to be happy without question.
My wants many,
My desires, to be desired.

Haven't thought of writing in a while as the creative characters would not slip from the finger tip.  You don't want to see what is inside of this mind.  Burned images in the brain, lost in grey, that's what matters.

Want not as ye be wanted.

Sometimes, I wish I could l clear the history on my life like a browser so I can let go of people that don't deserve my time! Sounds selfish, but I don't know how much more my heart can take and I'm sick of this cycle I place myself in!

It's been a while....

I think I have forgotten how to use this tool.  HA! It's been so long!

Sometimes, I let time pass on too many things in life, at work, with my kids, with extended family, with friends, MY MEMORY, the list goes on! 

I handled a phone call a little-less-like I would have liked.  If only I had time to think about what I was hearing, so I could have responded in a manner that would have gotten my point across without all the dislike that is flying around.  I don't understand why I can't simply recall the matter-at-hand on the comments given to me?  I would have handled the "unpleasant situation", as it was called in a converstaion with the subject party, things would have ended differently, instead of typically!  Grrr...

At the same time, I'm tired of the control issues that are laid before me, caused by me, and for me.  1) my control of being able to talk with my child at any given moment, when I am thinking of them!  2) my lack of control to believe that I can't always talk with them when I, or they, need!  3)  my lack of control over my concern that others try to control me through their silly rules of control.  4) Me controling myself! HA!

I must say, when the phone was handed to me on Sunday, I really didn't want to talk! That voice that comes across the line bites me in the watch-out-I'm-going-to-explode-in-one-minute-thrity-nine-seconds-nerve to begin with. Then the complaining about A's phone policing, not liking my suggestion, him saying that he has to talk with the spouse, then it's I don't think the kids can come, because last time 10 other peole were there with them and not just her because of her phone! [Which I can understand when it comes to friends this year because she is a phone junky and would really have 10 other people there with her while she is gone!] Then he goes on about how every time he turned around A was on the phone with GG complaining to her or on the phone with me complaining to me! I responded with "It wasn't like that T!" (recalling his "issues" with my kid's relationsthip with their GG and the phone issue with that last year) I WANTED TO REACH THROUGH THE PHONE AND SLAP HIM RIGHT THEN! This feeling is way too over-whelming and I knew I was going to say many things that I really would never recover from so I end the phone conversation! (man divorce, even 30+ years after it's over can be ugly!) I ended it, but there was a third party interjection I couldn't control!

After I had time to think, I would liked to have said:

T, I'm sorry that I forgot about the little verbal incident we had last summer when A was telling me about her day at your house and a conversation that she heard at dinner and then repeated to me because she thought it was funny and wanted to share with ME, 1,000 miles away.  As I  recall, A was bubbly during our converstaion with love in her voice; and you interrupted her to "tell" her [very rudly as I might add] that she doesn't need to tell everything that happens in your house, in turn making her cry and ruining our sweet little connection!   I know you didn't like me telling you i didn't appreciate you telling her she couldn't tell me what was going on there, like it is a secret as flames shot out of my head!  Sorry you are missing out on two of the most wonderful children walking this planet! 

Anniversary

We all carry anniversaries. A day in rememberance of a passing event... may not have to be a formal anniversary like a wedding, or the start of a job, but a distant memory's birthday.

Memories are sometimes forgotten; a picture can't even pull it from its depth. Today marks an anniversary of a memory in the distant past, maybe 20 years. I don't have the energy to recall exactly the date. Hot tempers, strong egos, screams, cries, changes! In most ways good,others not so....

Missouri is calling....

033010

venom running through the veins, never thought we'd see this day... pretending!
kids are running down the street, we hope they didn't see; the ending of you and me.
relief, the sounds of pitter patter and the cries of bitter sweet; in reality, there is no relief.

it's been a while

It has been a while since I've posted anything at all. I keep coming back to the blogs to see if anyone else has posted and am excited when someone has. I have something brewing to post here real soon. I just need to find the time to get what I wanted posted pushed down the tunnel of vision before I can get it to come to light.

I hope something appears soon!

Miss all of the family's regular posts, so I need to get on the ball and get something produced.

IMG00677-20090721-0743.jpg

My pumkin vines looked nice and healthy on July 16 as you can see from my July 16 post. When I woke up this morning and after I showered, I headed outside to see how much damage they sustained from the over night storm that dumped what sounded like horrifying amounts of hail and woke me from a sound slumber... this is what I see...

Pumpkin vines and tomatoes growing in the back hard, July 16, 2009.

June 9, 2009 Storm

The skies were a little crazy on the drive home today!

Leaving work the air was unusual as the cotton floated in circles with the wind!

I didn't get into the car when I received a call from Don about a possible tornado near Broomfield. The sky was almost black directly to the East of Longmont! As I got closer to home and through Berthoud the sky looked amazing with the lightning and the color of green it turned!

The police were circling, watching the skies and ready to close WCR 13 at any moment! The rain came down with the hail making it impossible to see any kind of funnel if it was there!!

Hail has torn up the vegetation in the yard that once looked nice!

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talent

I don't believe that Matthew would be too happy with me if he knew that I have posted an unfinished work of his on blog, but I cannot help myself. I think that he has such talent and I want to boast about him as much as his art teacher, who is taking him and some other class mates to Japan on the 11th of June, does.

I can see the likeness of at least one of his friends in this piece. When it is finished I will have to ask why the one character is smudged out? I'm glad that he is building his skills to use this media for creativity. I cannot wait to see what else he puts out!

my ham

Ashleigh loves to have her picture taken. Over the years I have observed people through a lens without their knowledge of being shot into the digital world as I find that when they don't know their picture is being taken, their pictures are far better.

With Ashleigh, it is not often that she doesn't notice the camera. She is my ham! When she knows the camera is present she "makes face" to the camera instead of just being herself. Either way... I love when she is in front of the lens.

Grandma Gwen took Ash shopping for summer clothes. This is one of the shirts that she came home with. She is a girl full of mischeif, however, if we advertised that she was 99 percent angel and 1 percent mischeif, maybe she wouldn't be so full of micheif?

Poster child for "yo quiero taco bell" as she macks down on that taco! It is so nice that we can FINALLY hang out, outside! She can drop her lettuce and cheese on the ground instead of on the kitchen floor! I didn't post the picture taken shortly after this one where she plays "see food."

I will not be seeing much of the kids for the next three weeks. Jeff has the kiddos this weekend, then they [Luke and Ashleigh] are off to Illinois with G'pa Dixon for a week long visit. When they come back it will again be Jeff's weekend. Matthew will be out of Country on the 11th and gone for 10 days.

It feels as though time is slipping away. I better laugh, love and hug on them as much as I possibly can before they spread their wings and fly out of the nest!
Little G'ma Gwen look alike! :-D

If I'm not pulling my hair out over her stubbornness, she is making me cry by laughing so much. I am glad to have my little surprise!

Luke

Getting pictures of Luke is not always easy! I don't understand why he can't just let me take his picture!? Sometimes I get lucky, but mostly I get elbows and hands.

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like grandfather like granddaughter

Dad and Ashleigh posing for the camera!

Visiting

It was good to spend time with Dad, Betty Ann and Popo!

The kids and I, with the exception of Matthew, visited Colorado Springs this past Memorial Day weekend. We arrived mid-morning Sunday. Betty informed us that we would be having lunch at a new restaurant down the street from their home as soon as Popo got to the house from his Sunday meeting.

It was good to see him and spend time with my parents! I enjoyed the food and especially the company!

Dad, thanks for hosting us and I hope you aren't over working your ring finger; Betty Ann, I hope your knee is feeling a better! Thank you both for being accepting of me and my family! I love you both!

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just a thought

you invest in your children,
you invest in your future.
you understand their situation,
before enabling their needs.
growing pains are learning lessons,
alone is not a word in your family.

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!

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Although this doesn't look like much it sure made for a nervous drive home!! Semi after semi were stalled on the highway putting their chains on to make it up a hill!! A jack knifed semi blocked my exit home!

I should have taken the frontage road!

I got home and had to shovel my way into the house! Funny thing is, I really don't mind doing that job! If you asked me that when I was 8 I would have told you differently!

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BLIZZARD

a wind of change is abound us,
i feel it in the air.
times are tough for all of us,
a hand reached out goes without,
not for want but stead.

make haste for work in every corner,
with or without fee.
help each other out, in this time of need.

Betty Ann

Betty Ann,

I will be ok! I am working through the things that needed to work through change. Working on my attitude. Needing some positive in it! Need to work the negative out in the yard or walking briskly! Use that pent up energy and move my body!

The Silver Sneakers club huh? You've always been so good at networking and keeping your life on track! I look up to you and love you dearly!

Thank you for your concern! I will have the kids the weekend of the 28th of March and 11th of April! I cannot believe April is upon us in a matter of 13 days. The time flies like we are having fun! Well, I need to get to that dreaded laundry, and watering the trees that haven't seen moisture in way too long!

I love you!!

Andrea

P.S. You are looking GOOOD TODAY!

I see a second job coming on! I want too much and cannot keep up with the necessities, so the only way to make more is work more. I want and see improvements in the future. A kitchen that finally has tile on the walls instead of the exposed drywall that is U-G-L-Y without an aliby UGLY! A counter to match, floors to finish it off. Doors to accent the front and the back of the house. Power that will not short out and catch my house on fire. With or without the help of others. It's time for paint inside and out. The garage needs to be converted to a work room especially for the summer!

I had a friend ask me the other day why we needed to pay to live. My answer is material. SOOOOOO VERY SAD!

The yard has to take a back burner other than Lawn Doctor and mowing, moving a pile of mulch from the tree cut down last year and trying to turn the vegetable garden to replenish the dirt stolen to fill holes that Bertha dug, it's full of lawn debris. I wanted to have a strawberry patch on the side of the house that has never materialized. I want to have a planter garden on my back porch and should plan to do one, but cannot seem to get it right! I wish that my garden was ready for planting again, but it just isn't!

But for the things that don't cost money, I plan to walk, mow, rake, water, sweep. Oh wait, gas for the mower and water for the lawn cost money. IT HAS TO BE GETTING WARM HERE SOON! Finally my treadmill is in the garage-THANK YOU ALFRED AND JOE!! I can now plug it in and walk away to noise called music in until the warmth of the sun is felt until the late evening for the purpose of shedding excess poundage! I plan to take Ashe with me. I'm ready to feel and look 25 again, yeah right! I've decided that 40 isn't the limit for me anymore, that I want to live until I'm 60+ and look as good as Gwen heading toward 70!!! I want to take my kids on trail hikes like I did when I was young without feeling like I'm going to die halfway through! Altitude gives me attitude!

I feel this year will be a good one. Closing doors on some things opens others. Shutting the window to the wind and rain that causes so much turbulence with the shades, cleanses the outside of the house without having to use a hose to wash away the dirt. :-D

I'm watching Dog and reading about dogs, coyotes, and wolves.
I'm listening to my dog eat.
I'm listening to Dog give a prayer about some person that he went to visit in a hospital that has only known pain.
Someone in the news today was bitten by a coyote and now the people that have moved into the area taking over the coyotes home, want a soluntion for their problem.
I read about a wolf that walked 100s of miles away from its original pack to find her own.
Once in a while a cat shows his face, after lounging all day on my bed! I wish Scorpio would wash the laundry, make my bed, clean the bathroom, kitchen, mop the floors, something! Selfish cat!

April 19, 2008 Firehouse 1 Dedication, in rememberance of Fire Chief 101

Where it all begins, in the hands of Uncles and Aunts, Grandmas and Grandpas. Living by example, where does it get us. In the pilot seat, watching after me. Uncle Kevin is pictured to the Left.

Uncle James and James Jr. (right) A huge surprise to Uncle JR and Aunt Karen. They found out they were having a boy the day of grandpa's viewing. Karen had her tubes tied and was on birth control for regulation when she got pregnant. He has a lot of similarities to Grandpa Hurtubise! You can hear Uncle James point them out every now and again! Ashleigh mentioned the other day that she wanted to go back to Missouri for Spring Break. I may have to seriously look into doing that!

The in memory decal that my Cousin Michael made. (Left) He wasn't able to make the dedication, which was a little sad to me. But I believe that he had to be out of the Country for the dedication. It was out of his hands.

Right, Ashleigh is sitting in "the truck." The boys didn't go with me to the dedication, so it was some good Mommy, Daughter time. We met up with Mom, Johnathan and Lloyd just inside the kansas border and road together to Witchita to visit the space museum there in witchita KS. That was cool. Felt like we were missing someone when we went! Robert of course, and my boys!! I really wish that they would have come with, but they both had excuses. I let them make their own dedcision. I wish I would have made them go!

The TRUCK, to the left... SO VERY COOL! I think that it is cool that all the Osage Beach trucks are WHITE instead of the traditional red.

The Truck's Logo. (Right) Something I've always been so proud of, even though I really wasn't a part of the community, it was very cool staying with a fireman grandfather. The experience of living with a scanner that NEVER turned off. The movement of him when he was running to a fire. The overwhelming feeling of being proud!

This picture to the left makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over! I as so proud of the accomplishments that my Grandfather, AND UNCLE, have achieved. The warmth of the summer suns that are etched on my memory, grandpa's dedicaton allowed to have him live on in the hearts of his community and his fellow service brothers. My grandfather was not soft on the outside, until you looked him in the "eye" and saw his friendly soul. When he would smile at you from within.

That's enough for me tonight, peeps... MORE TO COME TOMORROW....

To the Right Uncle Kevin and a former Chief, that read a written statement by Kevin. I need to get his name! Sorry, I don't have the program. I am often in AWE of my Uncle Kevin. To me he seems so frail, but he is one of the strongest men that I know! I have seen him carry more weight on his shoulders, than I have seen for someone that has only been alive 12 years longer than myself! He took Grandma and Grandpa into his home, a two bedroom house wile grandpa was confined to a hospital bead. Taking them in included taking in Uncle Steven. They had to add on and grandpa didn't get to see Kevin's efferts to the end. I think that he would have LOVED the house, and he would have really loved working outside building gardens, had he been able to! Grandpa really loved to garden! I wish that I knew how!

To the left, in this picture, Cousin Derek, Cousin by marriage Kevin, Cousin Phyllina, Uncle James, Uncle Phillip and a very small piece of Lloyd! Trying, unsuccessfully to get my Uncle Phil's attention. I love to be in my presence of my Uncles and cousins. I miss that when we would all meet somewhere. Not just the cousins but the Elders! ;-)

To the right, Uncle Phil, Uncle James DQ Lloyd! Phil was calm and collected as he rides the bucket to the sky. I have a few other pictures of him looking down at us little ants on the ground, he looked so cool. Uncle Phil is someone that I look up to! He hasn't changed much since I was a little girl. I wish that I would have been able to be around him more! I should take a road trip to Oklahoma, before we all have to resort back to horse and buggy as a form of transportation, and it would take months to trek to the OK state from Northern Colorado!

To the left, Aunt Dotty and "Uncle Jeff" are with some people that I don't know!! I will have to ask Aunt Dotty to name the people that are with her looking up at the bottom of the buckert of the firetruck. I do not know the two people that are in the middle.

To the right, Mom, Aunt Evelyn Kay and cousin Phyllina Hurtubise road to the sky. Mom has like to have her head in the clouds, like the sky chair at the old Eliches, you know, before they moved it downtown and lost all the old luster about it! Mom would ride roller coasters, sky chairs, log rides, spinning rides. She was real fun! I'm glad that I had the opportunity to "hang out" with my Mom and her sister. When they were younger, they had fun spirits! Why am I talking about them in the past tense?

To the left, Uncle kevin gave rides to all of us, slowely but surely. Cousins Travis and Derek are picture to the left here, with Derek's girl. Up and down the boom bucket went. Above power lines to the clouds above. (Side note, I should lighten up this picture so you can see the boy's faces.)

When we went to Missouri for Grandpa's services, Ashleigh really took it hard! I can relate. One of the firemen that work with Uncle Kevin [Jeff] became Ashleigh's friend. You seem them walking toward the bucket in this picture. (right, I hope)

I guess I will build from the bottom up! The picture to the left, I hope, is of my Aunt Kay, her grand daughter and daughter, Amanda, and Grandma Patsy Josephine Hurtubise. Posing in the bucket of the fire house's new fire truck that was built for the slopes of the Lake! Grandma was moving quiet slow! Something I can honestly say that I am not used to because, to me, she seemed to always be on the go! I recall a comment that one of Kay's neighbor's said to me when she came to one of the family reunions that she was a cool grandma because she would run with her grandchildren! She IS absolutely a wonderful Grandmother! I love her to death!

One Picture at a time, this one first landing on top, but later, I'm sure will be on bottom, and I have little energy to modify this evening... A progress in motion! Still waiting and it's been at least two minutes. How dare this computer make me wait! Patience is a virture, I've said over and over, and wish I had.

I love my family! Both sides! I admire so many things about my cousins, my Aunts and Uncles. I miss them all!! When we were little, I think my parents collectively tried their hardest to keep us all together. I am grateful for the times that I've spent with them, even under our circumstances! They helped us grow in so many ways! As I put an old memory stick that was lost under then dusty desk, I found the family pictures taken for Grandpa's dedication! I need to get them uploaded to my phone, and uploaded to the net for the publication at a local Walgreens.

Trying to load my music! That seems to be going pretty good, if I listen to the little chimes that say, your tasty music is ready in the iTunes. Looks like it's not going to work until I modify the picture to be smaller, or upload one by one! Above is Uncle Kevin (grandchlidren, I need to get their names, Amanda's little girl and boy) and Uncle James (son, James Jr.)with thier children, grandchildren and Ashleigh.

Oh well.

I will have to add pictures later, back to the story at hand.

Uncle Sam purchased a new computer for me. I am grateful as I haven't had a computer at home for a while. I've been trying however, to upload pictures to the interent and have found that the dial up, as I've known for a long time, just isn't sufice! GRRRRRR....

I was going to reflect on my grandfathers dedicaton to the fire house. Seems I may be losing this entry right here because I'm overloading the darned dialup! It's time to upgrade, but the economy has pulled me down in an upside down casa that needs major repair.

Oh well, I'll make it and I know this because I have a dream, I have an awesome dream!

Today is my brother's birthday!

I know times are hard for him right now. He's lost his job and cannot find replacement employment and I image he feels frazzled.

I wish there was something I could do for him, but I'm afraid there isn't... other than to be an ear to listen and a shoulder to lean on.

Happy Birthday Bro! I hope everything gets a little lighter for you here real soon!

When Dad and Betty lived in Longmont, we would meet as a family once a week. I believe that Betty would make dinner for my family on Thrusday nights. We would meet at their house after work, school and daycare and enjoy each other's company. I truly miss those days! Sometimes I really wish that Dad and Betty lived closer to me, only because I am selfish and miss the ability to drop in on them at any time!

Back in September my family headed to the Springs to visit the Vances and spend some time with them. I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to take some picutres at Garden of the Gods. I ended up only using my cell phone for pictures instead of using the camera that Richard bought me for Christmas the year before and I didn't use my old camera because I couldn't find the memory sticks.

Dad played with his camera and we thought that he was taking good pictures, until we got back to their house and discovered that the setting on his camera was change. I captured a few good pictures on my cell phone, but they aren't that good, considering that they are only 2 megapixal and they are off of my cell phone. Anyway, I like the above picture of Dad, Betty and the kids.

The sun was so bright, they all needed to wear shades! :-)

I often miss being able to have lunches with Dad in Gunbarrel like we used to do when he was working at the IBM plant. That short 20 minute meeting with each other helped ease our souls and know that we were there for each other! I've always enjoyed my Dad's company!

I know that my parents are my support and I am grateful to have them in my life! Although they are not as close as I would like, they are in my heart and I think of them often. We often have a blast with each other and my kids love to be around them, just as I do! Sometimes time gets away from us and before we know it, too much of it has passed by!

Little Look Alike

Ashleigh and the boys didn't have school on Friday and Monday this past weekend so Ashleigh had the opportunity to hang out with Grandma Gwen.

When Gwen came to my office to pick Luke and Ashleigh up for the day on Friday, I thought that her hair looked real cute and thought that Ashleigh would look cute with a similar style! I asked Gwen if she would mind taking Ashleigh to go and get her hair cut like hers since she has been looking oh so shaggy for some time! Gwen agreed and the idea back fired on me just a little bit!

Gwen decided to take Ashleigh to Cost Cutters. I haven't gone to that salon since I first moved to Longmont and they fried my hair after perming it, so I would never think of taking my kids there, and for whatever reason, I thought Gwen would know better than to take her there as well, but.... Gwen returned to my office around 10:30 in the morning with Ash in tow to show my the butcher job the girl at CCs did to Ashleigh's hair!

Right away I thought I made a bad choice by asking Gwen to take her to get her hair done, but Gwen agreed with me that it wasn't a good cut job, so made a phone call and got Ash in at 1:30 to have her hair redone. When Gwen and Ash walked in the office after that cut, all of us in the office said that Ashleigh looked like Gwen.

Now that Ashleigh has her new do, I have to take some time in the morning to help her get ready as she doesn't know how to use a curling iron like I did at her age and letting her wash and go just isn't going to cut it! Just like when she cut her hair and had it all in the sink back when she was in pre-school, I didn't think it was so nice at the moment, but I do think it was a good thing that she got all of the mop chopped off!! I cannot believe how much hair this girl has!

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Bomb

February 3, 2009 was a little exciting!

We had a bomb threat at the bank across the street!

That day had a weird air about it! Neil exclaimed, "The bank has been robbed!" He has the West view of the offices facing Wells Fargo and saw some police activity going on and that was his first guess as to what was going on over there.

It was interesting to watch as it unfolded. The employees of the bank were let out of the building one by one and directed to go somewhere out of my site behind the building, eventually the Roosevelt Park to the North of the bank (just to the right of this picture posted).

We didn’t hear a thing. Sirens, the tire screeches of the police cars, nothing, only Neil’s exclamation as to police activity across the street. I think, however, I was the only one interested in the activity! I believe the police showed up around 10:45ish and were wrapping up their investigation about by 2 p.m.

I eventually went to the Daily Times-Call’s website and read about the activity going on across the street. Turns out that it was a bomb threat. None of the police came into our building to tell us what was going on! I thought that was a little strange, especially if there really was a bomb, and it detonated as we have the whole front of our offices facing that bank!

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What would you do?

Today on our way to lunch Heidi and I encountered a vehicle that was driving very erratic!

This man swerved to the left and almost hit an oncoming car. Veered to the right and almost hit a parked car! We all came to a red light at Third Avenue and Hover. Heidi and I were going to head South on Hover to our destination, and this man was headed North on Hover. He proceeded to turn North onto Hover only to have a car honk at him for pulling out in front of the oncoming traffic.

Heidi suggested, prior to the honking, that we follow him. After the honking I decided to listen to her! We followed him up Hover toward Mountain View where he continued to swerve left and right. At one point he almost jumped a curb, and if he had done so would have hit five or so pedestrians walking on the sidewalk. At that point Heidi called 911 on her cell phone.

We followed this man into the parking lot of Conoco on Hover and Mountain View. We called dispatch back with a license plate and strongly urged the dispatch to call for the police to stop him. Heidi stayed on the phone with the 911 dispatch as we followed this man out of the Conoco
station, where he pulled East onto Mountain View, without signaling or looking for that matter for other cars. We ended up getting stuck behind another car and watched as this man veered to the left, then to the right again, almost hitting two other pedestrians. It shook them up to the point that they moved away from the edge of the curb.

He had his right blinker on for three blocks, before we came up on another red light at Francis and Mountain View, so we weren’t quite sure he if was actually going to turn South on Francis. The light turned green and you could seen that he was trying to look for something on the floor of his car. We were directly behind him, with dispatch on the phone warning them that he was going to hurt someone if they didn’t get a patrol car to us quickly.

This man realized that the light had turned green, pedestrians on the sidewalk, he made a wide turn onto South Francis, almost hitting the car in the turning lane on Francis to Mtn. View, veered to the left and then to the right again, jumping the sidewalk and coming to a stop!

I put my hazards on, pulled in front of him and jumped out of the car to approach his car. Heidi was still on the phone with 911 trying to give the dispatch our location to get a patrol out to us!

I put my hand up to indicate that I didn’t want this man to leave. He already had his window down, so I approached his window and asked him if he was ok. He told me that he was. I asked him if he was on anything. He told me that his doctor gave him some anti depressants. I asked him if there was something wrong with him again and told him that he was driving very erratically. He told me that he was looking for his wallet and he knew that he needed to slow down. I told him that I didn’t think that he should be driving and asked him where he was heading. He told me that he was going home. I asked him where he lived. He told me Third and Bowen. I asked him if I could drive him home, because I really didn’t think that he should be driving with the way that he was all over the road and I told him that he almost hit pedestrians on more than one occasion. He agreed that I could drive him home. I asked him to sit in his passenger seat and I would drive him. He got out of his car and headed for the passenger seat. I reached in on the driver’s side of the car and pushed the driver seat all the way back!

Just then Heidi was telling me not to take him anywhere, that I needed to wait for the patrol car and they should be there any second. I went to my car, got out my little wallet and headed back to this guys car so if he changed his mind, I would be in the way and he couldn’t go anywhere, but he sat quietly in his car in the passenger seat. Just then a police officer was headed North on Francis. He pulled up behind this man’s little brown Geo Metro and then another office pulled up in front of that officer.

The officer asked for my ID. He wrote down the information, got my phone number and told us we could be on our way.

We came back to the scene after we ate and saw that the police had parked this guys car in the church parking lot that is on the corner of Francis and Mountain View.

We never intended for him to get into trouble, but I honestly believe that he would have hurt someone had we not gotten involved!

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Matthew will be 17 (half my age!) on the 14th of March!

He has been a wonderful child with the exception of both of our bullheadedness I am very proud of him!

He's responsible, mostly considerate, hard working. I know he doesn't think that I understand him but I do in my own way!

Matthew was a light in my life from the very beginning. We've learned together along the way and I wish that I could have given him the stars about!

I hope he fulfils all his dreams and never let's go of who he is! I know that he will stand up for what's right!

I love Matthew more than he will ever know!

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