There's been one man in my life that has been a constant.
Love always fills his words.

He's quick to to apologize if he feels he's been in the wrong.

And strong enough to cry with you when you are in pain.

He always has seen the best in me, even when he's seen the worst.

I've always felt more calm when he's around.

I know sometimes he stumbles over his words and he's always willing to teach you something new!

He reached out to me the other day and gave me a hug bear hug, even though he wasn't in the room! I needed that more than I need anything else that day!

I love you Dad!

its time to let go
of the pain from
the past and
move forward with
the love of tomorrow

to see the future
bright with beautiful
waves of rain

moving forward
letting go of the rope
that binds

tears to fall from
joy instead of sorrow
no more shadows
holding me down

I was driving home yesterday and my brother and I crossed each other's path. I had to run to Loveland and on my way home he was headed in the opposite direction as myself.

I was glad to see that he is ok! I do not know if he recognized me in my new car!?

TORNADOS in Northern Colorado

The morning started out gloomy! The air was heavy and humid. Not really a normal feeling for a Colorado morning. I had to open the window shades to let some light in to the house so I wouldn’t have to turn lights on to see where I was walking!

I head to Longmont after dropping Ashleigh off at school and the sky starts to spit its tiny little droplets onto my vehicle as I approach work. I sit at my desk, read 9news and see the littel alert that there WILL be sever weather in northern and eastern Colorado. Common lately!

My employers were golfing and the associate in the office hasn’t been very busy lately finding STUPID things to complain above, like over the evening hours a coffee pot was left on and the grounds weren’t dumped out of the top. Something that I do at the end of the day, but forgot because I was tired and ready to go home! I do think that I turned the pot off, but I guess it was overlooked! The guys gave us [Heidi and I] permission to go to breakfast since they left us with such a nitpicking, helpless person!! :D

We go to breakfast, head back to the office and shortly after Diana heads in! She tells us how the skies opened up on her and her Dad on their way back from Mead for a social breakfast.

I really didn’t think anything of it as it is normal to have areas in Colorado be a mess in one area while others are not as bad!

Heidi and I head to Wal-Mart for lunch to obtain health and beauty products. It is raining a little bit still and the skies North of town are very dark! The town sirens go off and I try to hear what they are saying while we are drving, but cannot. We pull into a parking lot south of Wal-mart where there were a lot of people standing under a bank drive up to ask what the sirens were screaming! One lady says, “It’s a tornado warning!” I point to the sky above Wal-mart to show them that the clouds are rotating in circles as they comment about going back inside.

Excited and freaked I chase the clouds to the upper most part of Collyer Street, where you can no longer get onto HWY 66, and we watched the clouds over Wal-Mart circle and get closer to the ground!

We then headed to Wal-Mart as it looked like the clouds had dissipated. We get into Wal-Mart and the employees there usher us to the back of the store. We tell them that the clouds have passed, but they cannot allow us to be in the store because of the risk of the skylights blowing out and harming customers. So we head to the back of the store where they do not allow us to stand in the hall, but make us go back even more to back stock. I look up and guess what I see, more skylights! UGH!

We were ready to be out of there when the all clear finally came! We head back to the office to discover the tornado hit Windsor, one town directly north of where I live, and the other tornados that touched down OH SO CLOSE TO MI CASA!

I tried calling the schools out in Johnstown and Milliken as both Luke and Ashleigh were in school and I couldn't get through to either of them! I watched the 9news webpage even closer than usual to make sure that they were ok! Jeff then called to tell me that he would be going out to Johnstown to get the kids to make sure they were ok!

I spoke to Luke shortly after 3 p.m. He said he didn't hear or see anything and they did the usual drill! No excitement for him!

When I spoke to Ashleigh at 4 p.m. she told me that they had to cancel all of their special acitivites and that they were put in the Library where it was the safest place to be for them. They didn't have electricity and were not allowed to go to their after school care, ABC. I don't think she realizes really what was going on with them, which in her case is a good thing!

When I got home, I discovered that I had a few tree branches down, which is the norm for any storm that rages through my neck of the woods, so I picked them up and put them in a pile near a flower garden to be hauled to the backyard. I checked the rest of the house and then went back outside to work in the yard as usual. Especially since there wasn't any light in the house.

My neighbor across the street asked me over for a drink, so I took a break from the yard work I was doing to get the scoop on what the weather was like while I was at work. She said that it was pretty crazy, but that she worked out in her yard between the systems that moved through town.

She heard just before I got home that a tornado touched down at CR 13 and HWY 60 which is about a three quarters of a mile to the west of my house! She said that they had the road closed down there, but I don't recall it being closed down when I drove home!?

I was without electricity until around 6 a.m. this morning. When I flipped the switch to the kitchen light I was releaved when it turned on!

We are currently in the clear. Heidi just told me there was another Tornado Watch in effect for the same counties in Northern Colorado until 7 this evening! Here we go again!

The month in Review, April addition, published May 7, 2008.

I'll try to remember what I saw accurately twisted in my mind.

The last month in pictures. I think I got my hair cut? Or maybe I did it and thought it looked cool, but I can never really capture what it looked like in the picture. GOOF! This picture, lead to these:

[040308-0817]

Aunt Bonnies G'ma, G'pa Outhouse scene. I've removed some of the pieces for fear of them getting broken, and just because the wall is not very big at all! I love these pieces!

[040308-1818]


I had this bright idea to paint Ashleigh's room this blue ink blue with a hot pink border! What was I thinking? Ashleigh was in Florida with her Tom Sr., and Marylyn, her Paternal G'pa and step G'ma.

The beginning of the mess:






Thanks to the help the job was semi...


...completed.


A dream I saw in a store!

[041208]


A trip to MO with my little girl for the dedication of a firehouse and arieal truck to my G'pa Hurtubise, [Phillip Sheridan, (August 26, 1931-April 10, 2007)]Dedication took place 04192008.

Ash lost her tooth in Wichita, KS while eating breakfast in my Mom's ride just before we headed down the road. The tooth fairy had a hard time finding the tooth in MO.

[Ash lost tooth: 0481-8-1139]


It snowed on us through Eastern Colorado into Kansas, and rained on us the rest of the way. Some of the narrow roads were a little scary with the trucks driving in the opposite direction would whip our vehicles toward their lane!

[weather pic; 041808-1204]


My cousin scared the tar out of us while he stood in the woods with his "halloween" mask, just out the window. He had his head cocked just the right way to may the heart pump with a little fear!

[David Hurtubise Halloween flashing light mask! 041908]


The road back proved to be a lot dryer, with a stop in Kansas City, MO (Dearborne really). Walking the yard with Uncle Denny and Aunt Dotty (Holt). The sun set was beautiful to me with the moisture in the air and the ground so green! They sure had a lot of work to do with down trees from a winter storm. We [Ashleigh and I] experienced our first thunderstorm of the year with a spectacular lighting show with the loudest claps of thunder!

[042108]






Great Aunt Dotty gave Ashleigh a day bed made for dolls. Ashleigh made sure her babies were happy with the new acquisition.

[042108]


A self portrait.

[042108]


Beginning to work in the yard and a moment of peace captured as birds chirped above her head.

[043008-1753]


Looking at my tree...

[043008]






looking at my tree continued...

[050108]






the setting sun...

[050108]


back to the tree...

[050108]






Another dream.

[050308]


I attended a baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and Los Angeles Dodgers.

[050308]






The capturing of another quiet moment. Onions of some kind.

[050408]




Looking at another sunset.

[050608]

Kids! Too Funny...

(1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

(2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

(3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

(4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
little boy before?"

(5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"


(6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

(7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

(8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."


(9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."


(10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"


(11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

I peeked in the windows basement windows of 1010 N1ST last night. It’s currently empty, waiting for its family to move in. It’s only a two bedroom, and the basement is not finished. For whatever reason, I thought it was more finised than it is!

They, the bank that foreclosed on the tax lien and later the real estate agent that purchased the home to resell, came in a cleaned it out! Arched the enterances to the kitchen and hall. There were not pictures of the bedrooms, I wonder if it’s because my house is RIGHT THERE!!!!

I would love to buy the house and continue to renovate it, add on to the back and make it bigger. More liveable for a family with kids. Put some bedrooms on the main level, and a family room in the back. I’d make the basement a game room, water bar, pool table, darts, fuseball, etc.

Just like I’d like to add on to my shack, making my current livingroom a dining room; my bedroom an office; the main bath a powder room; my kitchen a butler’s pantry/Extension to a NEW KITCHEN (Every woman’s dream! lol); extending the back of the house; putting in a mudroom entry; putting french doors on the front of the house; opening to a deck to sit on when the sun is setting and for enjoying the spring, summer and fall evenings!

Popping the top and putting a master upstairs, with mountain views! A small master suite deck over the mudroom entry, next to the pine. Family room/kitchen open plan out the back. New garage with an apartment overhead for Matthew, then Luke and finally Ashleigh when they transition from the house as legal adults, but are going to college, locally! Yeah right, I think they’d fly the coup as soon as they could! Plus, it’s just a vision, a way to spend money I have NONE of!

I wish I would win the lottery, or should I not wish, but say: "This weekend, when I win the lottery!"? You have to play in order to win!

(COO COO, COO COO!)

The land of FIRE and ICE

In one of the last scenes of Forrest Gump, when forrest is talkig to the beautiful Arkasas tree, of which I do not know the kind, and I'm sure someone will tell me, where his Jenni was burried, Gump walks away and you hear the birds chirping and flapping their wings... it sends chills up my spine, everytime! It is such a warm scene, as he tells her he isn't too far away if she ever needs anything... To be tied to someone so tight like that, I one day want to open my own eyes to that fairytale.

I grew up in a military town. People came and went like the seasons. There were
those that I grew up with that stick tight in my mind, later I was the seed at the end of a gust of wind, mine landing in Northern Colorado to the sun sets and rises of fire AND ICE!

I just lost a GOOD THOUGHT! It was typed and boom gone! I guess it wasn't meant to be because it is now gone from me!

I hate that!

It was a release of pent up energy, it felt good to get it off my chest, then it ran and hid back deep inside!

Getting out of the DOG HOUSE

Photo of dog house, before the dig out!


Picture of dog house.


... again, before dig out!


In the beginning of moving junk around!


See the frame, it's been burried for three-plus years!


I believe this is the height of the dog house where it is marked, I'm 5'8".


The garage is a mess!! I really need to do some spring cleaning! I WISH THE DARNED DOOR WOULD OPEN SO I COULD CLEAN OUT THE OTHER SIDE! Need to haul a fridge away and just get rid of some STUFF!


Trying to get a picture of the house without the darned light in the back ground, but... I think it's too dark?


The Ghost of Ashleigh Present, until tomorrow, then it'll be The Ghost of Ashleigh Past.


I have a lot of junk!


The roof of the dog house opens for easy cleaning.

03102008

I've finally made some headway in the yard! Even though it will not look as luster as it did in 2003-2004, it feels good to have the leaves in piles ready to be picked up and put in their place! I still have a few more beds and some raking to do, but it's coming along!

The side yard in the back on the west is almost completely raked and put in piles. I need to get a large dumpster to haul the large yard rubble away.

I need to pay my lawn doc so they can come out and treat my yard for the goatheads that are hiding by the shed. I'm ready for my place to be my place and the to do list is getting long:

1. Paint the Garage (navy blue);
2. Replace the Garage door and track;
3. Get prices to remove and replace the concrete behind the garage and side walk up to house, concrete currently falling apart in drive. Pour a larger pad where the old tin shed is;
4. Privacy fence out back, or price tuff shed to replace old tin shed and around the garage;
5. New tuff shed on concrete pad for lawn mower and yard tools;
6. New front door, thinking wood with window at top of some kind;
7. carpet in the basement replacing family room, Luke and Matthew's rooms and closet between rooms;
8. Tile the hall in front of bathroom downstairs and laundry room;
9. Find stained glass for livigroom window facing east, same for kitchen window;
10. COMPLETE BATHROOM AND KITCHEN.

Ashleigh

"Ashleigh,"

the document starts out saying. Ashleigh is requesting that I play her in her little homework game. She plays Ms. Danzl. She plays her well! She's a good little teacher!

Miss Ashleigh, aka Ms. Danzl, said that I received a 10 out of 10 possible. But I had to retake the test because it had to be in her format. I was playing around too much waiting for her to speed up! ;-) She did VERY WELL! Now myself, not so much!

The red marks are where I should have had more space and the sentence is upside down because she demaned that I filp the page over and write my sentence on the back. I demanded that we use one whole side before flipping over!

I feel like I'm doing an ok job raising my kids and enjoying their company. I know that some of my family wouldn't like the way that I'm living my life, or the way that I'm doing what I'm doing, but I know that I'm doing my best!

I do believe that my Dad's mother wouldn't be happy in the way that I'm raising my children. I want them to be compassionate people that have love and respect for others around them. Even if they do not agree with the things that are expressed to them, or what they know is right; to view all people as people and to have respect for the diversity that surrounds them! I want them not to look down at another human being, but to have understanding of another's position in life.

My paternal family is strick in their upbringing. Pioneers following Joseph Smith, the prophet and those that follow his teachings. Something that I have ingrained in my DNA, yet whole heartedly rebel from at the same time.

My maternal family is more understanding and open to me, although very much from the sticks, laid back, following the nature of natural human-nature! Left unattended...

Do you get that? Do I?

My mother's family is where I feel most comfortable, without judgment; where my father's family, I feel like I do not live up to their par and thus feel uncomfortable in their understanding of me. When I relax and hang with my paternal family, I don't feel so outcast, but always hearing about the gospel and being eternally sealed to the family... I'm just not there. I can see them there, but no myself!

I miss my brother.

I wish that we'd be closer in so many ways.

I've found that I'm afraid of my feelings toward him and his ability to hate me so easily, or is it that I feel he hates me?